today has me thinking. i dont know its just one of those days i guess. 3 years ago todau uncle john died and 4 years ago tomorrow squirelly died. sucks. its crazy i dont know where the years have gone. thats all i have for now.
Liz
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Surviving September
Here's a list of songs that justify my hate of this month.
Wake me up when September ends - greenday
Bulletproof weeks- matt nathanson
September- Ryan Adams
September in the Rain
September Blue- Chris Rea
Tim Mcgraw- Taylor swift
September- Daughtry
August and everything after- Counting Crows
September- earth wind and fire
It Might as well Rain until September- Carol King
September- BBMak
A Lonely September- Plain White Ts
Late September Dogs- Melissa Ethridge
Come September- Natalie Imbruglia
Wake me up when September ends - greenday
Bulletproof weeks- matt nathanson
September- Ryan Adams
September in the Rain
September Blue- Chris Rea
Tim Mcgraw- Taylor swift
September- Daughtry
August and everything after- Counting Crows
September- earth wind and fire
It Might as well Rain until September- Carol King
September- BBMak
A Lonely September- Plain White Ts
Late September Dogs- Melissa Ethridge
Come September- Natalie Imbruglia
my head and other ramblings...
So,
I'm sitting here, bored, waiting for Chelsea to get off of work. I thought, "I should write in my blog..." but then, what do I say? ...I'm not ready to just open up and let the world inside to know what I am truly feeling...and the world isn't ready to know all of the aspects of that. So I started going down a list of what's going on with me. I decided this post would be dedicated to talking about my head. Because, as most of you know, it's been killing me.
I'll back up, for those of you that don't know. Back in 2003, I fractured my skull...whoo hoo yay me, right? Well, in a way. I mean, I survived and I shouldn't have. It was fractured in three places. If it was a centimeter to the left I would be paralized. The bleeding from the fracture went into my ear...if it had gone into my brain I would be brain damaged. I lucked out. Four days later I was released from the hospital and the only lasting affect was that I lost my sense of smell...but that's nothing. Anyway, this is about my head now..not my head in 2003. I went on from that with no major problems involving my head, besides the occasional headache. Which was chalked up to the fact that the bones didn't fuse together, so there was a slight gap. The headaches slowly faded, either that or I got used to them, I'm not really sure.
That brings us to the present. For a while, (probably a good year, although I told the dr. the past few months), I have noticed small things being wrong with me. My head began hurting ridiculously, it wasn't a normal headache. It's the feeling of electrical shocks stemming from the back right of my head to the front left. They last for a few seconds at a time...but are enough to stop me in my tracks, make me want to pull my hair out or just scrunch up in a corner. That has gone on, like I said, for about a year. Around May-ish, I noticed other strange things happening. My eyesight began to go blurry for a few seconds at a time, then come back. Sometimes, when I try to read I feel like I am almost staring THROUGH the words, and can't actually comprehend what they say. The periphrial vision on my right eye sometimes seems to be non-existant. But whatever, right? I could find excuses for all of these things... I am tired, the lighting was bad, it was the angle. Besides, its not like I could tell anyone really...with out them freaking out anyway. Dizziness has become a normal feeling to me as well. Then, came the ear pain. This is probably the worst of all of them, minus the electrical shocks. It began to feel as if the inside of my ear is numb. When there is a lot of noise, I can't focus on anything..I can't comprehend what people say with out truly trying. sometimes, I just want to cover my ear, the pain is so bad. After that, came the random tingling in my arm, and numbness in my face. One day, after driving down the road this summer on my way to the store (I store I go to once or twice a week) and realzing that I couldn't remember how to get there... I decided, with a little urging of some friends on facebook, that I should go to the doctor. Everything else had an excuse to go with it, but forgetfulness? that was a hard one.
I went to my primary care Doctor in July, he said it's probably migranes, but didn't like the dizziness and numbness.. I could have told him it's not migranes...this isn't a normal headache. this is different....so he sent me for a brain scan. It came back normal...whew! not. If it's normal that what's wrong with me? the Dr. refferred me to a neurologist, I saw him August 25, 2009. He examined me and thinks I have something called occipital neuritis, but said some of the symptoms don't match up with it. So he wants me to get another brain scan. He didn't give me much of an explanation of what Occipital Neuritis is, just that one of the main nerves in my brain is inflammed and pushing on an artery. He said that sometimes, after a blow to a head, it shows up years later. he didn't mention treatment or anything, just sent me home with 800mg of motrin a day and a paper to keep a headache diary on. Today is september 7th...and I still haven't heard from the hospital to schedule a brain scan. When I call they take my message and don't call back. The motrin doesn't work. My head kills me every day, it seriously feels like it's going to just fall off at times (I know, that's not possible). I looked up Occipital Neuritis online, and some of my symptoms do match with it...but others dont at all. But if one MRI came back normal, why would he want me to get another, will it have a different result? I really, just want to know what is wrong with me!
Did I mention that today is September 7th? yes. One year ago today Amanda R. went to Heaven. Her family/close friends have been on my mind all day...She has been on my mind all day. Remembering different, funny (now) times from back in the day. They all bring a smile to my face. I know that she is looking down on everyone and comforting them in their own way. I hope that God is with them to today, they need it.
....end vent-session now.....
I'm sitting here, bored, waiting for Chelsea to get off of work. I thought, "I should write in my blog..." but then, what do I say? ...I'm not ready to just open up and let the world inside to know what I am truly feeling...and the world isn't ready to know all of the aspects of that. So I started going down a list of what's going on with me. I decided this post would be dedicated to talking about my head. Because, as most of you know, it's been killing me.
I'll back up, for those of you that don't know. Back in 2003, I fractured my skull...whoo hoo yay me, right? Well, in a way. I mean, I survived and I shouldn't have. It was fractured in three places. If it was a centimeter to the left I would be paralized. The bleeding from the fracture went into my ear...if it had gone into my brain I would be brain damaged. I lucked out. Four days later I was released from the hospital and the only lasting affect was that I lost my sense of smell...but that's nothing. Anyway, this is about my head now..not my head in 2003. I went on from that with no major problems involving my head, besides the occasional headache. Which was chalked up to the fact that the bones didn't fuse together, so there was a slight gap. The headaches slowly faded, either that or I got used to them, I'm not really sure.
That brings us to the present. For a while, (probably a good year, although I told the dr. the past few months), I have noticed small things being wrong with me. My head began hurting ridiculously, it wasn't a normal headache. It's the feeling of electrical shocks stemming from the back right of my head to the front left. They last for a few seconds at a time...but are enough to stop me in my tracks, make me want to pull my hair out or just scrunch up in a corner. That has gone on, like I said, for about a year. Around May-ish, I noticed other strange things happening. My eyesight began to go blurry for a few seconds at a time, then come back. Sometimes, when I try to read I feel like I am almost staring THROUGH the words, and can't actually comprehend what they say. The periphrial vision on my right eye sometimes seems to be non-existant. But whatever, right? I could find excuses for all of these things... I am tired, the lighting was bad, it was the angle. Besides, its not like I could tell anyone really...with out them freaking out anyway. Dizziness has become a normal feeling to me as well. Then, came the ear pain. This is probably the worst of all of them, minus the electrical shocks. It began to feel as if the inside of my ear is numb. When there is a lot of noise, I can't focus on anything..I can't comprehend what people say with out truly trying. sometimes, I just want to cover my ear, the pain is so bad. After that, came the random tingling in my arm, and numbness in my face. One day, after driving down the road this summer on my way to the store (I store I go to once or twice a week) and realzing that I couldn't remember how to get there... I decided, with a little urging of some friends on facebook, that I should go to the doctor. Everything else had an excuse to go with it, but forgetfulness? that was a hard one.
I went to my primary care Doctor in July, he said it's probably migranes, but didn't like the dizziness and numbness.. I could have told him it's not migranes...this isn't a normal headache. this is different....so he sent me for a brain scan. It came back normal...whew! not. If it's normal that what's wrong with me? the Dr. refferred me to a neurologist, I saw him August 25, 2009. He examined me and thinks I have something called occipital neuritis, but said some of the symptoms don't match up with it. So he wants me to get another brain scan. He didn't give me much of an explanation of what Occipital Neuritis is, just that one of the main nerves in my brain is inflammed and pushing on an artery. He said that sometimes, after a blow to a head, it shows up years later. he didn't mention treatment or anything, just sent me home with 800mg of motrin a day and a paper to keep a headache diary on. Today is september 7th...and I still haven't heard from the hospital to schedule a brain scan. When I call they take my message and don't call back. The motrin doesn't work. My head kills me every day, it seriously feels like it's going to just fall off at times (I know, that's not possible). I looked up Occipital Neuritis online, and some of my symptoms do match with it...but others dont at all. But if one MRI came back normal, why would he want me to get another, will it have a different result? I really, just want to know what is wrong with me!
Did I mention that today is September 7th? yes. One year ago today Amanda R. went to Heaven. Her family/close friends have been on my mind all day...She has been on my mind all day. Remembering different, funny (now) times from back in the day. They all bring a smile to my face. I know that she is looking down on everyone and comforting them in their own way. I hope that God is with them to today, they need it.
....end vent-session now.....
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Here it goes.
Welcome to my blog... I can't gaurentee that anything you read in here will be worthwhile, but I can gaurentee that it will be straight from my heart. I used to write all of the time (either in blog form, or trying to keep a journal) but I've gotten out of the habit. This is my attempt to get back into it... I feel like I have a lot to say and no one to say it to. So this is my place on the web where I can tell my thoughts and feelings to, if no one else, this computer screen. I guess all that's really left to say now is...enjoy, I guess :)
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